Depression. And how.
I have been sucked into the whorling vortex of this shitty economy, big time. Looking for a job, filling out applications, sending out resumes, contacts, contacts, contacts.
*crickets chirping*
All my friends started school this month. This is the first semester in 5 years that I am not there too. Not because I graduated. Because I quit. Not forever, but burnout had me at a level of apathy that was very truely UNHEALTHY. I spent most of the summer working for my dad around the house, taking care of grandma and sleeping.
But now that everyone is ridiculously productive again, I feel my self worth being trampled by the silence of job offers. I am amazingly employable. I've done shitty jobs in places you've only had nightmares about. I can sit and process mindless information into whatever blackhole data base you can come up with. I can smile in the face of people who revolt me. Also, I type 45WPM and will work for Cheap!
This lack of job prospects has led me down the long sad road of depression, which has led to even further apathy. How bad is it? Yesterday I had Carls Jr AND Brownies. The day before, I had Pizza AND an unnaturally large bowl of Peanut Butter and Chocolate Ice Cream.
I need a job, people.
Because unemployment is making me fat(ter).
Also, I may have to cancel my gym membership.
Me too.
ReplyDeleteI talked to one of my main job references the other day. I've applied to hundreds of jobs, had like 10 interviews with the state, and my main references hasn't been called once.
But, I'm just trying to keep an open mind and healthy outlook, knowing that all I need is positive thinking! If I visualize myself with a job, I WILL HAVE THAT JOB!!! And if not, then homelessness is just a new OPPORTUNITY for me to explore what I REALLY want to do in life! Or for me to explore my sexuality as a hobo mouth-rapes me! THE WORLD IS NOTHING BUT SUNSHINE AND OPPORTUNITY!!!
Bleh. All the positive thinking crap I'm met with all the time in my job hunting is such bullshit. And I know it's not valid, because I've been visualizing those people chocking to death on their own feces for months and it hasn't come true!
Instead, I'm just acknowledging this all fucking sucks really bad, and with the general contempt I feel for society (with many good reasons!) taking it almost as a compliment the lame-brains I meet in most interviews just aren't smart enough to hire someone capable. Derp derp, dat one seemed smart, might try take my job!
Basically, it's Idiocracy out there and perhaps the only way to survive is pretending to fit in!
It sucks. Try to survive.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI have a quick question about your blog, do you think you could email me?
David