Avoiding Harpoons

Ask a Fat person what their greatest fear is, especially around summer time and many will say ‘swimsuit season’. As a woman I am haunted by magazines at checkout counters that tease me with articles titled “Bikini body in two weeks!”, because in my case that would be a miracle. With the opening of the Boise State Aquatic Center, my sister and I have decided to try our hand at swimming. We used to be quite good at it. She was on the water polo team in high school, swimming 2-3 hours a day sometimes. I swam many of my fitness tests when I was in the Navy, because as I've previously stated, I HATE RUNNING. The current problem: Finding an appropriate swimsuit. There are several stores in Boise that sell fitness swimwear but I'm a few sizes larger than many of them offer. My sister and I found our swimsuit grail at Boise Swim and Run, which carry suits in all sizes, including several sizes larger than my own. After purchasing the gear and settling on a time, we were ready to go.


Our first day was Wednesday morning. At the ungoddly hour of 0530, we donned our swimsuits, swim caps and goggles and made our way into the slightly chilly and sparsely populated water of the Boise State pool. Initially, my sister had set the task of 20 laps before us, a number that would have been easy in our youth. I did two laps before I had to take a break. I felt like my heart was about to explode out of my chest. I couldn’t catch my breath. “I can’t be this out of shape!” I thought to myself. My only consolation was that my sister was finding it to be only slightly less difficult than myself. We did two more laps each and rethought our strategy. We swam another two laps and rested, repeating the process a few times before finishing at ten each. The whole time, I couldn't stop thinking that I must look like a Whale, only less graceful. If I had been in the Ocean, I'd have been eaten by a shark perceiving me as a wounded seal.
Another problem was that I dye my hair red and it's a vegetable dye, which washes out very quickly. My hair color started to run, and as I got out of the pool, it looked like I was bleeding. (back to the shark and harpoon refernces, haha), so I don't know what I'm going to do about that.
On Thursday, my whole body was sore. My arms hurt. My thighs ached. My back protested against sitting or standing. I could barely move. "Feeling the Burn", right? It was ridiculous how much pain I was in after just one day of exercise.